On My Knees Fighting You to My Dying Breath
by OneWhoSitsWithTheTurtles
Summary: Thor and Loki return to Asgard, where Thor binds his life to Loki's to save his brother from imprisonment or worse. Loki fights him with every breath until Loki realizes that Thor might mean more to him than he ever expected.


***AUG 18, 2012 NOTICE* FFnet took down 25 of my stories because they deemed the content 'inappropriate'. Because of this, any story I post with this notice at the beginning will be censored and incomplete. I will have edited it to make it suitable for FFnet and will still be a 'story', but in my opinion the quality will be decreased. I have either taken out scenes for sexual content or violence. If you would like to read the full story, which I strongly recommend, you can do so on AO3 here: archiveofourown(dot-org)/users/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles. **

**At least 50% of my stories cannot be reposted on FFnet because they will be removed again and I could get banned. I strongly encourage you to simply bookmark my AO3 page and read all my stories there. You can also follow me on Tumblr for story update news, here: onewhositswiththeturtles(dot-tumblr-dot-com)**

**Thank you.**

* * *

**On My Knees (Fighting You to My Dying Breath)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Thor, The Avengers or the characters

Warnings: M/M pairing, pseudo-incest (since they're step brothers), spoilers for Thor and the Avengers

Rating: M

Pairing: Thor/Loki

Notes: This is set immediately following The Avengers, but also with the plot of Thor in mind.

I wanted to take a very quick break from Arthur/Eames just to prove to myself that I was capable of writing more than two characters over and over again. And it was quickly decided that I would write Thor/Loki because omg, have you seen the way those two interact in the movies? It helps that the actors get along really well, but there is so much sexual tension between them. Also, I'm such a sucker for redemption stories, and now it's time for me to set my sights on Loki.

Another note, I only know some vague Nordic stories, and I haven't read the comic books with Thor, so all of my knowledge is from the movies. Please feel free to correct me if I named anything wrong or anything like that.

Summary: Thor and Loki return to Asgard, where Thor binds his life to Loki's to save his brother from imprisonment or worse. Loki fights him with every breath until Loki realizes that Thor might mean more to him than he ever expected.

* * *

The marble was cold and unyielding as Loki was forced to his knees in front of the throne, Odin, his – _Thor's_ father staring down at him. Loki was still in his armour, having been brought here directly after returning from Earth. The only detour Thor had made before bringing Loki here and removing his gag was to deposit the Tesseract in the armoury. From there Loki was sure it would be moved many times more just to ensure that he was unaware of its final location for safe keeping.

It was odd to be in the grand hall with so few people. It was normally filled with people for some ceremony or occasion, but now every breath and word echoed from the walls. Odin stood before Loki, looking down at him the way he always had, even after Loki's many attempts to prove himself to his adoptive father. Frigga, Thor's mother, stood behind Odin, watching Loki with a look of disappointment that he ignored; she was not his mother. Thor stood off to one side, meeting Loki's gaze briefly when he looked over before looking back to Odin when he began to speak.

"Loki." Even though Loki now knew Odin was not his father, it was difficult not to react to his voice. Odin had the voice of a king as well as a father; one Loki had grown up with. It was difficult to break old habits. "You wound me with your actions. First you manipulated us all to have Thor cast out, starting a war and threatening the lives of millions in some misguided attempt to gain the love from me that I had already given to you. And now you forsake your family and Asgard entirely and match forces with the Chitauri, a race that cannot be trusted, to attempt to take Earth for yourself. And again you placed millions of lives at risk, taking many yourself. You armour is awash with blood, my son."

"I am not your son," Loki retaliated on instinct. He always felt like he was swallowing around glass when he said those words, reminded himself again and again of this fact. But it was a truth that had to be acknowledged, lest Loki begin to hope again and end up betrayed twice over. The hall was silent, everyone expecting an apology from his lips. But Loki would not give them one. Instead he whispered, "You left me no choice."

Odin sighed. "And now you leave me with no other choice." Loki's eyes widened when he heard the scrape of the king's staff, metal sliding across marble as the golden staff was readjusted in Odin's hand. He looked up quickly to confirm what the sounds were telling him, that Odin truly was raising the staff. Although it was mostly a ceremonial piece, it would be foolish to ignore the weight of the metal frame, or the sharp edges in the crown's design. It was just as much a weapon.

Loki had not expected this, and now there was nothing he could do. He could run; he had the magic to at least escape his father and the hall, get a head start. But it would do him no good. The Bifrost Bridge was destroyed and Loki did not possess enough magic of his own at the moment to spirit himself away to another realm, safe and out of reach. So this was it. A rather disappointing end, he admitted to himself as he bowed his head once more. He could feel nerves raise the hairs on the back of his exposed neck as he waited for his end. He was angry that it had come to this, but also terrifyingly relieved.

"Odin, please don't," Frigga spoke up from where she stood a short distance away, voice frightened.

"I can think of no other option," Odin admitted, sounding sad at the truth in those words. Even though Loki's eyes were on the marble below him, he could instinctively feel the golden blade above him. "I would imprison him but for the fear in my heart that he would escape and stir up yet more chaos. And I can think of no one I trust to be strong enough to resist his clever words to leave as a watch." Odin sighed heavily. "This is the only choice he has left me."

Loki swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat, forcing himself not to indulge in the tempting thoughts of _what if_. What if he had been more accepting of Odin as a step father? What if he had disappeared to create a new life rather than using all his power to make spectacles to gain the attention of Thor and Odin? Loki closed his eyes. It no longer mattered. He could feel the air shift around the moving staff, could hear the wisp of fabric as Frigga turned away.

"Father, don't!" Thor yelled, sounding surprisingly desperate. Loki couldn't help but think briefly that Thor really did have the voice of a king. And then Loki flinched because something hit his neck, but it was not the biting cold metal he had been expecting. A warm, strong hand wound around the back of Loki's neck, both reassuring and protecting him from any threat. Loki knew immediately that it was Thor's hand, familiar with the sensation since it was one of Thor's habits to hold Loki by the neck. Always holding his attention and keeping him close. It was odd that the gesture never felt threatening to Loki. Instead, it always filled him with a calm warmth.

The metal of the King's staff scraped against marble again as it came to a rest. Thor did not remove his hand. His fingers slipped through Loki's hair, brushing the exposed skin of his neck. Loki shivered minutely. "Thor," Odin's voice was enough of a warning, but still Thor didn't move. Loki was curious to know what Thor was thinking, wanted to look up and see his face. But Thor's hand kept Loki in place as much as it kept his neck intact. "He is beyond us."

Loki winced when Thor's hand gripped him a little tighter, but he didn't fight it. "You are a fool to give up on him so easily," Thor accused, voice biting. Loki could feel Thor trembling slightly where their skin touched, though he did not know whether it was due to anger or fear at talking down his father and king.

"What would you have me do?" Odin asked, voice tired.

"Nothing, if your first action is execution." Loki tensed at hearing his brother – _no, just Thor_, talking to the king that way. But Loki could already tell that Odin regretted his decision, had from the moment the staff slid across marble. This was a weakness Thor was taking advantage of this moment, and one Loki would keep in mind for the future. "I will be the one to take responsibility for Loki."

"Thor," Loki began, a sense of dread weighing down his stomach.

"Quiet," Thor growled, nails digging into Loki's skin just deep enough to be a warning. Loki felt a sense of indignation well up inside him but he fought it down; he had learned long ago that it was sometimes an asset to bite your tongue and swallow your pride. Patience was a strategy many mistook to be unimportant, but learning to wait for the opportune moment was what had served Loki all these years. It would serve him well again.

"What is it you propose?" Odin sighed, the king leaning some of his weight upon the staff's strength. Loki couldn't remember the last time Odin had looked so old and worn.

"Bind my life to his and I will serve as his keeper until he can be trusted to live his own life again," Thor stated. He felt Thor kneel down to be even with him, though his hand remained curled around Loki's neck. Loki looked over at Thor subtly, trying to read his face. Where did this confidence in him come from? Why was Thor always so certain that Loki would change some day? Thor always seemed so sure that Loki was just waiting for the opportunity to be 'good', when really Loki had no interest in _behaving_ after the life he had been dealt.

"Thor, _don't_," Loki hissed under his breath, though he knew his voice would carry in this echoing hall. He couldn't stand the thought of being _bound_ to Thor; the only person he could stand less was his fake father. The thought of having to spend every waking moment with Thor, never able to find his own space or escape Thor's shadow, had Loki tensing and genuinely considering the consequences of running.

Thor must have sensed Loki's thoughts, read the tensing of his muscles where they still touched. Thor pressed his hand down slightly until Loki was forced to bend forward, his forehead mere inches from the floor. Loki had to throw his arms out in front of him, palms spread against chilled marble for balance. And then Thor leaned even closer, Thor's body pressed against his side as Thor growled in his ear. "I will not live without my brother by my side."

Loki felt the urge to bear his teeth in anger. He was no pet to be owned. But again he forced his instinctive response down, hiding his snarl behind his lips. He clenched his hands into fists, knuckles aching as they pressed against the ground. Loki reminded himself that Thor was giving him an option other than death; even if Loki wasn't interested in the path of redemption Thor had set out for him, he could still use this to his advantage. He would be safe; no one could kill him lest they wished Thor gone also. Not that disposing of either of them would be a simple task. There was no better protection. He just had to bide his time. Luckily, Loki was good at that. So he dropped his gaze to the floor and said nothing.

"Are you even aware of what you are suggesting?" Odin questioned Thor seriously. The way he spoke made Loki feel like the king had already sensed his own defeat. "You will be responsible for his actions, not simply for your honour but also for your own safety. Your lives will forever be entwined."

"The way it should be," was Thor's response. He sounded so sure. Loki couldn't understand it.

"So be it," Odin said, and that was final.

Loki could sense the staff moving through the air again, could trace its magic as it brushed against his own. As a wielder of magic himself, he possessed the ability to feel and trace the magic of others when he concentrated. Odin's magic was golden, warm and powerfully old as it slid down the marble steps towards them like liquid gold. It enveloped Thor first, circling him before seeping into his heart. And then the magic turned to Loki.

The magic of two beings rarely blended, instead warring until one broke and bent to the will of the other. Loki felt his breathing quicken as Odin's magic swept around him, trying to find a safe path through his own barrier of protective magic. Thor had no true magic, only the magic of his spirit, so it had been painless for him. Loki would not be so lucky. His nails scraped across the floor as the golden thread of magic pressed in, tearing Loki's magic apart like weak threads. He could feel his eyes tearing up as the pain slid across his body, his magic searing as it was shredded.

He wondered if this would kill him. He wondered if the magic would succeed just enough to take Thor with him. That would serve Odin right. But thinking those thoughts only made Odin's magic tear through him more viciously, fighting to pierce his heart. It seemed impossible to let the anger in his heart go though, even for just a brief enough time to save himself from this agony. Loki tasted blood in his mouth as he bit his lip to keep from screaming; he wouldn't give Odin the pleasure.

"Be well, Loki," Thor called to him, sounding incredibly far away. The hand on the nape of his neck slid up into his hair for a moment, soothing, before skimming back down. Loki felt his spine relaxing under Thor's touch, his body calming and his angry thoughts dimming. "I will not lose you," Thor spoke again, sounding closer this time. Loki choked on a groan as Odin's magic finally made it to his heart and created a binding there, one that was invisible but would keep him linked to Thor. It took all of Loki's concentration but he managed to keep his magic strong and free of the binding, ensuring that it would not be extinguished or controlled by Odin's spell.

"Are you both alright?" Frigga rushed down the steps to kneel before them both, lifting Thor's face to check him over.

When she turned to Loki to do the same, he pulled away quickly and forced himself to stand. Every inch of his body ached and he was still panting, but he refused to be coddled by someone who had only moments ago turned away when he had been sentenced to death. "No thanks to you," he spoke darkly, intent on pain rather than diplomacy. He saw the hurt on her face, and he registered it. But the pain had left him angry again and Loki had no patience for regrets in that moment. He didn't even spare a glance to Odin, who was remaining intelligently silent for once.

Loki turned on his heel, Thor catching his gaze for a brief moment. To his complete surprise, Thor looked understanding rather than hurt or angry. Loki could not think of something to say to that tired, sympathetic look, or for the sacrifice Thor had just made for him, so he just continued turning until he could make a straight walk to the hall's closest exit. To his horror though, he only made it halfway across the great expanse of marble before he hit an invisible barrier, his body jolting to a stop as he felt a hard yank in his chest.

"You have got to be kidding me," Loki whispered to himself. For once he just wanted to be left alone. He had no interest in scheming or plotting his escape, nor did he have any interest in causing his so-called family even a sliver of the pain they had caused him with their betrayals. No. He just wanted to sit down in a nice dark room and close his eyes. He needed _rest_. Loki turned on his heel again, glancing over his shoulder at Thor who was still standing near the throne. "Thor, just once will you grant me a favour?"

Loki was surprised again when Thor nodded, offering up no biting remarks before walking toward Loki. Thor only paused long enough to pick up Mjolnir, which he had set aside when he first brought Loki to the throne; Thor did not even cast a look back at his parents. "Let's go," Thor said when they drew even, and although there were a great many things he hated Thor for, Loki couldn't find it in himself to argue as they both pushed open the heavy double doors and strode out of the grand hall.

#

"Your room or mine?" Thor asked as they walked quickly through the halls toward the living quarters. The palace seemed to be surprisingly empty at that moment, and they were both in a rush to get out of sight before someone saw them and started asking questions. Surely by now everyone would have heard of Loki's attempt on Earth, and even if people remained unaware, Loki's sudden return to Asgard would not go unquestioned.

"Pardon?" Loki asked, glancing over at Thor as they matched paces. Normally he prided himself on being sharp of wit and intellect, but today had been a _very_ long day.

"Well since this binding is keeping us from getting too far apart, I doubt it'll stretch enough to let us both sleep in our own rooms," Thor reasoned. "You could collect some things and bring them to my room if you wished."

A thought occurred to Loki. "My room remains?"

Thor stopped immediately, Loki having to stop and turn a moment later to look back at him. Thor wasn't looking at him; instead he looked lost in a memory, his thoughts far away. Loki frowned in confusion. "I wouldn't let them move any of your things," Thor admitted, eyes finally seeking Loki. "I thought... I _hoped_..." Thor looked away and shrugged, fidgeting with the hammer in his hand as though it weighed nothing at all. "Just let me get some clothes from my room and then we'll stay in your room, alright?"

Loki didn't want to admit how desperately he wanted to return to his room, how much it meant to him that it was still there waiting for him; like he had gone on a long holiday, rather than falling into a wormhole and starting an unnecessary war. To hide the warm sensation in his heart that threatened to soften his features, Loki gave a shrug of indifference and followed Thor to his room.

Memories returned to Loki as they stepped into Thor's room, Thor continuing further into the room to collect some things while Loki remained leaning just inside the doorframe, just out of sight of anyone who might pass by in the halls. They had played and play-fought most frequently in here, both of their rooms of equal size but Loki's space taken up with books and artefacts that held his interest. He remembered days in Thor's room, the afternoon sun on them as they ate and talked and played. It all seemed so far away then, his childhood overshadowed by Thor but not yet poisoned by the knowledge of Odin's betrayal.

Thor approached him minutes later with a large bag slung over one shoulder. "Ready."

Loki nodded and slipped back into the hallway. His room was not terribly far from Thor's, but Thor was likely right in that it would be too far for both of them to remain separated in their own rooms. The distance they had spanned in the grand hall would allow them some privacy, but not much. Not that Loki really expected Thor to leave him on his own anyway now that he was Loki's _keeper_. Thor could preach about his supposed trust and faith in Loki all he wanted, but that would likely evaporate in practice; there was a lot riding on this binding for both of them.

When they reached the familiar doors of Loki's room, he forced himself not to pause or betray any emotion. Instead he stepped through the doors without hesitation, letting Thor follow behind him. It was difficult to keep his face neutral though as he surveyed his room, everything exactly where he had left it all that time ago when he had donned his armour and set out to fight Thor on the Bifrost Bridge. A sense of nostalgia swept over him as he moved further into the room, tracing designs into the thin layer of dust that blanketed the room with absent-minded fingers.

He pulled open the curtains first, throwing them wide and allowing sunlight to stream in, lighting up dust motes dancing in the air. Thor sneezed as the dust scattered, reminded Loki of his presence. First he used a quick flash of magic to banish the dust, pleased when he felt no restrictions from the binding settled around his heart. Then he turned to Thor, pausing for a moment to take in the odd situation. Loki had always been a private person, especially when it came to his space and his things, so he had rarely hosted Thor in his rooms. It felt odd having him here now, but Loki reminded himself that he had Thor to thank for his room being intact, so he didn't fuss.

"I believe that cabinet by the door is empty," Loki pointed, not commenting on the fact that Thor seemed to be staring at him. "You can put your things in there for now. Don't touch anything that looks fragile. Actually," he thought about it, "Don't touch anything. I'm going to go wash up," he said with little room for argument, already halfway to his private bathroom.

"What about me?" Thor asked quickly. "In case you have forgotten, I was recently in the middle of a war as well. I'd like to wash up myself."

"Well you were the one who chose this binding business, not I," Loki spun on his heel, pinning Thor in place with an angry glare. He was tired, and he was in pain, and he was now ensnared in a spell that would kill both of them if he made one wrong move. He was in no mood, with barely enough energy left to keep himself from snapping. "So I think you can wait your turn."

"I did this for you!" Thor shouted, the air quaking with the echo of thunder.

Loki was across the room in an instant, winking out and into existence with his magic before crowding Thor back against the doors. "Shall I thank you for it, brother?" he spat, eyes narrowed in anger. "Shall I get on my knees and fawn for your selfless act? You saved me from death, yes, but in death's stead I have now been bound to you and made your prisoner. I will not thank you for the loss of my freedom."

"You speak as though I will force you to do my bidding," Thor countered, hands connecting with Loki's chest just long enough to shove him backwards. "That is not my intent."

"Enlighten me," Loki regained his balance, never taking his eyes off Thor. He could feel his magic begging for release, begging for bloodshed, but he held it back. "Why has the mighty Thor chosen to spare me? Do you like having someone near who so desperately wishes to be your equal but is doomed to fail? Is that why you keep me close?"

"Brother, you deceive yourself." Before Loki could react, he felt Thor reach forward and hold the back of his neck again, though his hold was less commanding this time. He could have pulled away, but as always Loki felt his anger calming, his body giving up the fight.

For once though, that thought infuriated Loki more, giving him the energy to step back and knock Thor's hand from his skin. "I am uninterested in hearing anymore lies from your family," he hissed, staring Thor down to ensure he didn't move before turning and stalking off to the washroom. He needed to be alone. He closed and locked the door behind him, grateful when he did not hear any sounds of pursuit.

Peeling away his armour and clothes was a painful and exhausting task, the metal clanging against the tiles and the heavy fabrics smearing dried blood across every nearby surface. Loki paid no mind to the mess, focusing on stepping into the shower before he collapsed. The hot water burned his skin when it first turned on, causing him to groan as it washed across cuts and bruises. He reminded himself that he was incredibly lucky that he had not sustained worse injuries and took the pain, knowing it was cleaning his wounds.

He took a long time in the shower, cleaning what felt like years of dirt and blood from his skin and hair. By the time he finally turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, his legs were shaking with tiredness. But he was nowhere near done so he had no choice but to grab his medical supplies, spread them out across the counter and begin tending to his wounds. It took him a long time, his magic fading as he used it to tend to more serious or harder to reach injuries, but finally he was done.

Loki considered putting the medical supplies away, but eventually decided to leave them out for Thor's use. As Loki's exhaustion set in, his anger faded. In this moment he was too tired to care, to make Thor pay. He kicked his armour into a corner, deciding he would deal with it in the morning, and then wrapped a towel around his waist. In his fury he had forgotten to grab a change of clothes before heading into the bathroom, so now he had no choice but to face his brother in a towel.

He stepped out into his large bedroom to find Thor skimming his eyes over the shelves of Loki's books, thankfully not actually touching anything though, just as Loki demanded. The sound of the door opening must have caught Thor's attention because Loki felt his brother's eyes skim over his body, taking in the bandages and bruises marring his skin. Loki cleared his throat. "The shower is yours."

Thor continued staring for a moment longer and then nodded, disappearing into the washroom without a single word. Loki was relieved that they had sidestepped another fight and that he had more time to himself before he suddenly had to share the same room with Thor once again. He pulled on a comfortable set of clothes slowly, unwilling to force his body to move quickly. Then he spent a few minutes reorienting himself to his old room, rediscovering the books and trinkets on his shelves before finally sitting on the ledge of one of the windows looking out across the city.

He soaked in the sun's heat as he leaned back against the window frame, surveying the city below him. It was one of the best views of all Asgard in Loki's opinion. The sun washing his body with warmth should have been uncomfortable, but instead Loki felt every muscle and joint relaxing. He had never fully understood his relationship with the sun. At times the sun felt overbearing and near-painful to him; something that made sense now that Loki was aware of his heritage as Laufey's son. It made sense that a Jotunn would feel discomfort in the heat of the sun. What _didn't_ make sense were the days where Loki basked in the sun, soaked in the heat and hummed as the sun set his skin tingling.

Feeling the sun on his skin again and looking out over the city made Loki feel like he was finally home. When he had fallen from the shattered edge of the Bifrost Bridge into space, the metal staff slipping from his hand and Thor's shout following him, Loki had not thought he would miss Asgard. He thought all the bad memories would wipe out the good ones. All the years he had been overshadowed by Thor, the fact that Thor would take the throne soon since he had returned, on top of the truth that Odin had stolen Loki away as a child and was not his true father. The worst though had most certainly been when Odin rejected Loki's attempt to win his affections anyway, to prove himself as a still-loving son. All Odin had said was _No, Loki_.

Loki had missed Asgard though, had dreamt of it often. His dreams would always play out on the stage of Asgard, in the halls and city streets he and Thor knew so well from childhood. He would also dream of Thor, the good memories fighting to ensure they were never swept away by the recent betrayal. He remembered playing with Thor, learning with him and going on adventures. Thor would always challenge him, and Loki would always pay him back with mischief and trouble. But they had both always been ready for more. As Loki drifted in space and eventually collided with the Chitauri, he had wanted those times to return.

As the late sun warmed him and the pleasant memories returned, Loki finally felt himself slipping off to sleep. It wasn't a deep sleep, his thoughts drifting on the edge of consciousness, but it felt amazing just to have his eyes closed. He was drawn from sleep some time later, the sun half swallowed by the horizon. It was the feel of fingers running through his hair that woke him, one slow sweep from his forehead across his scalp to the back of his neck where it rested comfortably, familiarly.

Loki couldn't quell the tiny moan that escaped his lips at the sensation, his head tipping back to pin Thor's hand in place between his head and the wall. He blinked his eyes open, thankful for the darkening sky to hide his burning cheeks when he saw Thor standing tall beside him, looking down at him with some mix of confusion and amusement. Thor was dressed in a comfortable set of clothes, but his hair was still wet and swept back. "A truce until dawn, brother?" Thor proposed hesitantly, fingers twitching against Loki's neck.

"I suppose that is acceptable," Loki offered in return. He wanted to sound unimpressed but he was simply too tired; one night without fighting sounded wonderful before he began opposing Thor tooth and nail once more.

"Good. Then you should have some food I had brought over," Thor nodded towards a table Loki had shoved into a corner, half of the surface covered in books and the other half in food. "I promise nothing exploded into flames when I moved things to make room for the food," Thor added, chuckling slightly. Loki felt Thor's hand slide away from his neck and Loki felt the sudden urge to pull those fingers back, allow them to continue touching and exploring his skin. He had no real reason to argue against his brother's retreat though, so Loki remained quiet, pushed himself off the window ledge and sat down to eat.

A few scrolls were slightly crumpled from when Thor had moved them, but Loki swallowed his comment. The sight and smell of Asgardian food – something he had not tasted in a long while – finally reminded Loki of how hungry he was. He sat down with a full plate and ate in contented silence, watching Thor out of the corner of his eye but not commenting. It seemed so bizarre to think that only a few days prior he had been fighting a whole team of misfits – _The Avengers_, they had called themselves – and Thor for the control of Earth. Now he was seated at dinner with his strongest and oldest adversary, sharing a pitcher of wine. Loki didn't even feel too irritated at his loss. When looking back, it all seemed so...unnecessary.

"What holds your attention so strongly?" Thor asked through a mouthful of bread.

Loki grimaced at the lack of manners before looking back down at his plate, realizing suddenly that he had stopped eating entirely as his thoughts consumed him. "Thinking," he admitted truthfully. He was very fond of half-truths when a full truth would not serve him.

" About?" Thor raised an eyebrow, watching him across the table. Thor's plate was nearly empty. Loki didn't feel inclined to tell Thor the truth, not wanting to bring up the war in the few vulnerable hours of their truce. But he also felt oddly opposed to outwardly lying. So Loki began eating again in silence, giving no form of response. "Very well, keep your secrets," Thor said, letting out an aggravated huff as he took another massive bite out of his bread roll.

The remainder of dinner was awkward, but more so for Thor than for Loki. Thor had never been terribly comfortable with silence, always eager to talk and joke and laugh. Loki forced down his own slight sense of discomfort in order to leave Thor feeling awkward, believing that his brother deserved at least some small punishment for the binding even though they were currently in a truce. Eventually it seemed silly to remain seated at the table though, both of their plates cleared, so Loki stood from the table. "I'm going to head to sleep," he said, leaving the dishes for tomorrow and heading towards the bed.

"Good idea," Thor agreed, trailing behind Loki. They both stood on opposite sides of the bed for a long, uncomfortable moment, watching each other. The bed was large enough that they would not even be aware of the other's presence; the mattress could comfortably fit four. Thor broke first, pulling off his shirt to avoid overheating before sliding under the covers. Loki watched as Thor settled on the far side of the bed, his back turned to Loki and blond hair spread across the pillows. He was surprised at Thor's apparent trust in him, to turn his exposed back to Loki; after all, they had been at war only a few days ago.

Loki settled more hesitantly on the mattress before slipping under the blankets, his eyes on Thor's back and one visible shoulder. The fact that Loki was a private person meant that he had never shared a bed with anyone before. He had never rested beside someone and allowed them to be close when he was at his most vulnerable. This hesitance had only grown more ingrained when he had been with the Chitauri. Loki may detest Odin but the king had been right; the Chitauri could not be trusted.

Over the last year it had felt like a constant fight; there was always someone wanting Loki dead. But Loki had been alone and had been forced to watch his own back. He was not accustomed to trusting another, even his brother. But of all the people Loki could share a bed with, Thor was probably the safest. He was the strongest man Loki had ever encountered, and because of the binding, Loki's safety was as vital as Thor's own. With this thought in mind, Loki finally settled under the blankets, dimmed the room's lights with a quick flick of his wrist, and allowed his eyes to close once more.

#

The cold metal of Odin's staff skidded slightly as Loki fought to hold on. He could feel his shoulder threatening to dislocate, his arm screaming in agony as the hole in space pulled at him. He could see Thor above him, holding onto the other end of the staff. Odin was looking down at Loki with such disappointment, such pain; Loki could not bear to see it. He felt his eyes burning with tears as he looked to meet Thor's eyes, ones that forced Loki to hold on for a moment longer. But Loki did not know how to face the betrayal and the disappointment, not could trust himself to hope that Thor's look of heartbreak was genuine.

Loki let go and let space swallow him, Thor's shout and tears following him.

The hole in space twisted Loki, pulled at his magic and choked him. The pain and the sense of self-hatred made his drifting feel like it lasted a lifetime. But in reality it was probably as long as it felt before Loki found himself on the other side of space, too far away to ever hope of return or rescue. He was picked up by two Chitauri from the voids of space and taken to a small planet that looked as though it had been shattered into pieces.

There he met the Other, a horrifying creature leading the Chitauri, that taught Loki of the Tesseract and its powers. The Other promised Loki a great many things in return for his service of retrieving the Tesseract for them. He was promised power and a sceptre that channelled his magic with the fiercest of intentions. He was also promised Earth, a world he could rule. After Loki's crown had been taken by Odin and a someday-future king Thor, he was being offered a new throne and an army with which to claim his prize. Beyond that though, Earth could be a new home. Loki had nowhere else to go.

Loki had been tempted. But he had turned away from the Other. He was a trickster, not a murderer. When Loki had faced Thor down with the Destroyer, Loki had hit his brother rather than turned him to ash. Even on Earth when Loki had dropped Thor in a cage thirty thousand feet from the air base to the ground, he had been sure Thor would find a way out. He had secretly fretted until he saw his brother again, and when he had seen Thor he had felt a knot in his chest loosen, even as they began battling again.

No, Loki was not a murderer.

The Other was unimpressed and would not take no for an answer though, and Loki had neither the strength or magic to escape the planet without aid. He was taken to a far outcrop of rock on the very edge of space. There he was bound, his restraints cutting deep into flesh when he fought them. The Other tried magic first, paired with well-chosen words and promises, but that had been a foolish choice. Even hurt, betrayed, angry and exhausted, Loki was not one to be manipulated by simple words. And the Other's magic was powerful, cutting deep and causing the intended pain, but Loki was still stronger.

While Loki shied away from physical torture though, always preferring to pull strings behind the curtain, the Other had no such qualms. Loki's screams echoed across the barren rock when blades sunk deep into his body, leaving destruction in their path. Then the Other's magic grew poisoned, seeping into Loki's wounds past his barriers. Tears marred Loki's face, his throat hoarse and sore from screaming. And when Loki refused again to complete the Chitauri's plans, the blades would press deeper.

It would go on for months before Loki finally felt himself weakening. His body was wrecked and worn, his mind exhausted and his magic weak. Loki heard himself begging, on the verge of agreeing when he heard something on the distant breeze that caught his attention. It sounded like someone calling him from far away and Loki turned his gaze to the sky, hope starting a new rush of tears that etched rivers into the blood dried on his cheeks. The voice faded away though and Loki felt the blade in his side twist, drawing a hollow scream. "Help," he whispered when he had finally caught his breath.

"Loki," the voice called again, closer this time.

"_Please_," Loki called back softly. The Other was still standing before him, a malicious grin on its twisted face as the blade began to slide through flesh and bone. But the pain was fading, as was Loki's vision. He felt as though he was being drawn away, rescued, _saved_. The emptiness of space had not responded to his pleas then, but now Thor's face swam before his eyes.

"I am here, brother," Thor's voice said this time and with a gasp Loki's eyes flashed open. He was lying in his own bed in Asgard, trembling violently. Thor was beside him, shaking him from sleep. "What causes you such pain?" Thor asked, brushing away some stray hair that had fallen into Loki's eyes. "A nightmare?"

Loki was going to nod and try to brush the whole incident off, embarrassed beyond all reason. But his body was still shaking even though his memories were fading, receding into the darkness of his mind to await their opportunity to attack again another night. Loki felt like he was both overheated and freezing, his heart racing and his breath coming in short gasps. The nightmare was fading but he wasn't getting better. And then a pain in his side flared up and all Loki could do was choke off his scream. He pressed one hand against his side, right where the blade had cut the deepest, while his other hand wound around Thor's wrist like a lifeline. "I didn't want to," Loki whispered, his last thought of the day he had finally given in to the Other before his vision went black.

#

Loki woke slowly, feeling his whole body ache when he tried to stretch out his muscles. In particular there was a dull throb of pain from his left side, which he touched a hand to worriedly. He realized that his shirt had been removed, his fingers brushing over skin and bandages. Confused and slightly scared now, Loki looked around to figure out where he was. He could tell almost immediately that he was in the Hall of Healers, in a private room. Thor was beside him, sleeping awkwardly in a provided chair.

He couldn't remember much of the night before, though what he did remember made him groan. No doubt he had been experiencing one of his newly-common nightmares, and to Loki's utter embarrassment, he most have woken Thor with it. There was no way to tell what Loki might have said or done, but after remembering that torture, he doubted that he could trust his voice. What worried him even more though was the continued ache in his side long after the memories had left him alone.

Hand still resting protectively on his side, Loki sat up in bed and moved to sit on the edge of the mattress facing Thor. Thor remained asleep, snoring softly and evenly. Although his body begged him to lay back down and rest, Loki had to ignore it and lean across the short distance between himself and Thor. This was his first and probably one of his _only_ opportunities to explore and test the binding without Thor being aware.

Trying to block the pain from his mind, Loki stretched forward with his free hand and let it hover directly over Thor's heart, his fingers ghosting over bare skin. He found himself distracted for a moment by Thor's body, curiously tracing the lines of his muscles and the curve of his side. The sight of Thor was always a formidable one, even though Loki had grown up beside Thor and watched him grow. It was hard to believe that they had once stood as equals in size and stature, while now no one would ever believe them to be brothers. _Which we're not_, Loki reminded himself.

He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, absorbing the truth. It saddened him, but not as much as it once had. When Loki had first discovered his true heritage he had been fearful that Thor would turn from him, that blood had been their only bond. But even though Loki feared to hope too readily, it seemed clear from Thor's recent actions that they were still brothers of sorts in Thor's mind. Thor had begged Loki to return home rather than step into a war, had attempted to persuade him rather than kill him. And even how that the Tesseract was back in safe keeping, Earth protected, Thor continued to protect Loki.

He banished these thoughts and forced himself to focus, already beginning to feel his body and mind tiring again. Loki traced Odin's magic, sensing the binding around Thor's heart and the thin but sturdy thread that attached to Loki's own heart. In his mind's eye, Loki could see the magic like a set of carefully-placed knots, winding this way and that in a scattered weave. He thought that if he could just fixate on those knots holding the threads of magic in place and sever them, the binding would unravel like a cut scarf. And if he was extremely cautious and meticulous, Loki would be able to unravel the bond without killing either of them.

Loki knew that Thor would have to remain completely still for this to work though, and Loki knew Thor would not agree willingly before he thought the bond was obsolete. This meant that Thor would either need to be asleep or bound, which would be difficult circumstances to come by. It would be risky but Loki thought to try the first knot now. However, right before he could draw up his own magic for the task, the sound of a door opening startled him.

He pulled his hand away from Thor quickly as he turned to see a healer striding into the room, her eyes watching him with dark suspicion. "Enough of your trickery. Leave your brother be. He's the one who saved your life," she scolded him, directing him back onto the bed none too gently. Loki realized it was unlikely that anyone outside the royal family or their closest confidants had been told of Loki's heritage as a Jotunn, the healer still thinking of Loki and Thor as brothers.

It was more than that of what she said that held Loki's attention though. "Twice in one day," Loki spoke more to himself, taking in the fact that Thor had saved him twice. He glanced over at Thor and sighed, rolling his eyes. "Lovely."

"You should be grateful," she snapped. A moment later she was shoving a glass into Loki's hand, and the smell of the concoction inside made him grimace. "Drink up. It will help with healing," the healer prodded, staring Loki down until he swallowed the whole mixture. Loki gagged, the medicine feeling like sludge as it caught in his throat, but eventually he got it all down. He had already realized that he would receive no sympathy from this woman. It was clear that she was well aware of his involvement with the breaking of the Bifrost Bridge and everything that went along with that. From the way she looked at him, Loki knew that the only reason he was receiving care was because of Thor.

Once Loki was done with the medicine, the healer explained that she had removed a small Chitauri weapon from his side, which had been buried deep below his skin. Despite her lack of extended knowledge about the Chitauri, she had discerned that the device was set to send out a pulse of magic periodically, which would spread across Loki's nerve system like a virus. When she described it, Loki knew exactly what she was referring to. He had felt that pain coursing through his body like poison as he traveled to Earth and waged the Chitauri's war. At the time he had thought it was only residue magic from the torture he had endured before being set loose. It was horrifying to think that the Other had left some torturing device in his body as a form of... _incentive_.

"From what I can tell," the healer spoke again after a moment of silence, drawing Loki's attention back to the present. "The device had begun to deteriorate, which was why it suddenly affected you so violently. Luckily, between your magic and my own, you've already begun to heal." The healer looked at Loki, and though she probably hated him, she was still a healer and happy that her patient was recovering. "It'll take some time, but I don't expect any long term damage."

Loki nodded, showing his understanding. "Thank you," he spoke genuinely.

The healer's lips were a thin, terse line, but she nodded. "You and your brother are free to go," she said before excusing herself from the room.

Loki wanted to head back to his room alone, eager for more rest and alone time. However, he knew the binding was still in place and would keep them physically close. His energy was weakening the longer he stayed awake and Loki would not risk both their lives due to impatience. So he stood from the bed slowly, stretched carefully, and slipped his shirt back on. Then he turned to the still slumbering Thor, ready to face this challenge.

Loki had learned that Thor was a very heavy sleeper when, as children, Loki had snuck into Thor's room early one morning. He had pounced on top of his brother and shouted, acting as both the monster and the brother begging for help. Thor had been boasting about how he never got scared, and Loki had a conjured beast waiting right out in the hallway to truly startle Thor after Loki managed to persuade him out of the room. Instead of being scared or even getting up, Thor had just caught Loki in a headlock and rolled over on top of him, pinning him to the mattress before falling back to sleep.

With this memory in mind, Loki approached Thor strategically. With all his weight behind him, Loki shoved against Thor's side. The chair squeaked with the strain and Thor gave a startled grunt as he toppled halfway off the chair before Loki caught and steadied him. It was only after Thor had been resituated on the chair that Loki realized he could have let Thor fall to the ground rather than catching him; it probably wouldn't have caused any harm. He had made his choice now though, and Thor was blinking up at him with sleepy eyes, so Loki focused on his goal of getting back to bed. "Let's go back," he said, leading Thor back to his room where they both fell back into bed and slept immediately.

#

By the time Loki woke up again the sun was high in the sky, the day well on its way. When he glanced over, he could see that Thor was still sound asleep where he had passed out. The blankets were pooled around his waist and Loki could see Thor's own set of cuts and bruises on his back and arms from the war they had just fought. Since seeing those didn't fill Loki with a sense of pride or happiness, he quickly slipped out of bed and into the washroom.

As he entered, Loki took note of the fact that Thor had put all of his medical supplies away neatly. His magic and energy had recharged with his finally-restful sleep, so Loki used a bit of magic to turn the bandages around his side waterproof before stepping into the shower. He washed his skin and hair methodologically, checking his body over to assess his injuries afterward. He should have stepped out of the shower by that point, done cleaning, but instead he remained under the shower's hot spray, leaning against the cool tile of the wall. Thinking.

So much had happened recently to turn Loki's world upside down. He didn't know which way to turn any longer, what to think or who to trust. Thor had always been a brutish oaf when growing up, arrogant and loud and his attention always on the next conquest or adventure. Loki had always been a step behind Thor by choice, the thinker and planner. He had played a great many tricks on Thor over their long years together, but in the end he had always looked out for his brother when times were filled with uncertainty and danger.

When had the world shifted so completely that their roles had reversed? What had Loki been thinking, starting a war for Earth when he knew the chaos it would rain down on his head? He enjoyed stirring things up, forcing people to stay on their toes and not take anything for granted, but he did not possess a death wish. Of course, after his encounter with the Other and the Chitauri, he hadn't had much freedom to make his own decision.

But Thor had been there, and this time he had been the one looking after Loki. Perhaps he had not fully known what the problem was or how to help, but Thor had tried. He seemed matured in Loki's eyes now; calmer and more centred but less _self_ centered. Thor had fought Loki and had certainly not held back with his punches, but he had repeatedly handed Loki his trust and more chances to turn back and change his fate. A constant, outstretched hand offering him something Loki thought he had lost.

What was Thor's play? What were his motivations? Loki had done nothing to earn this worrying and trust. Loki had singlehandedly pulled the strings to get Thor banished, had nearly killed him with the Destroyer. They had fought with anger and betrayal in their eyes, tearing skin and spilling blood. Because of Loki, Thor had been forced to break the Bifrost Bridge and his one connection to his Earth woman. Even when Loki was the reason for Thor being able to return to Earth more recently, Loki kept his brother distracted and fighting until the bitter end. Loki had caused unnecessary pain and death on Earth.

Loki thought back to when Thor had stolen him away from the Avengers and begged him to return to Asgard on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere. Thor had been angry, and rightfully so. Where had that anger gone now? What possessed Thor to situate himself between Loki and danger, even against Odin's might? And where would this lead them? Loki would remain bound to Thor until Thor grew tired of him because Odin would never trust him enough to break the binding willingly. Loki would be left behind as Thor took the throne as king; the closest Loki would get to taking the throne again would be to stand a step behind Thor.

Memories of living in Thor's shadow swarmed him then. Thor had always been the golden boy, beloved by all who met him. Loki was an unfortunate addition, dragged along by Thor wherever he had gone. Loki's friends gravitated to Thor and his exciting adventures, and anyone who caught Loki's eye would swoon at Thor's charming smile. Odin had been ready to crown Thor king, leaving Loki without even a consolation prize. Even the humans preferred Thor, naming him God of Thunder. Loki had been shouldered with the title of God of Mischief, as though he was good for nothing more than being a nuisance.

The shower's spray had turned icy cold as the hot water ran out and Loki bared his teeth, feeling his skin shift to its natural blue. His nails sharpened slightly as he dug grooves into the tile, his eyes narrowing in rage. The shadow had followed Loki everywhere, and he had never been able to escape it. Thor had practically kept him on a leash, towing him along to act as a constant comparison. Thor was the only one to show him any kindness, and still he looked down on Loki. To everyone else, Loki was someone who needed to be taught how to behave before he could be trusted. Someone who could be helpful but only as an afterthought.

Loki snarled, the sound swallowed by the water. Whatever Thor's intentions, Loki was done. He couldn't live bound and held down by Thor any longer. He would fight this bond until Thor broke it and cast him out. And if that didn't work, Loki would bide his time and wait for the right opportunity. He would sever the knots twining his heart to Thor's and then he would run. Loki didn't know where he would go, didn't know of a place in the universe that would accept him. But he would leave in the search for a new home, leaving Asgard right when he was beginning to feel like he was home again because he couldn't live as a prisoner.

Decision made, Loki turned off the shower and stepped out. He dried himself off and allowed his skin to return to the Asgardian shades, the Jotunn in him just as much of a reject; an abandoned runt, uncared for by any father he had encountered. Maybe if Laufey had loved him then Odin would have never taken him and none of this would have happened. But this was the life Loki had been dealt, and now it was time to take control of his fate once and for all. His armour from the war caught Loki's eye as he redressed in clean clothes, Thor's thrown in the corner beside Loki's.

Last night they ate, washed and slept as comrades. Now they were enemies.

Thor was awake when Loki walked out of the bathroom, rubbing sleep from his eyes and looking over at Loki from the bed. "Brother," Thor said in greeting, voice low and gravelly from sleep. "Are you well?"

"I am fine," Loki conceded distantly, walking across the room to clear up the plates from last night before a book fell into some sauce or something equally horrendous happened to his belongings. He would not be here for much longer, so he would enjoy his room while he still could.

"You were more injured than you let on," Thor accused, though his tone was soft.

Loki sighed. "You exaggerate. It wasn't that bad."

"It was," Thor argued. Loki abandoned his busywork and turned to stare at Thor. "Through the magic of the binding I was able to feel some of the pain you felt. I worry about how it must have felt firsthand."

Still angry and riled up from his thoughts in the shower, Loki didn't think to hold his tongue. "Stop pretending that you care, _brother_," he poisoned the word with his malice. "The mothering look suits you ill."

"Of course I care!" Thor roared, crossing the room in a rush. The plates in Loki's hands fell to the ground, shattering. That was the least of Loki's concerns though as he was propelled backwards until his back collided with the wall, the breath knocked out of him. He gasped for air and caught Thor in the stomach with his elbow, but the jolt pulled at his side and Loki doubled over in pain. Thor pushed him back up into a standing position, pinning him in place with his larger body.

"Let go of me," Loki hissed, voice deadly and low. The renewed pain in his side just spurred him on, giving him the desire for this to come to blows, for him to _end this_.

"Not until you hear me," Thor retaliated, one forearm across Loki's chest to pin him while Thor's other hand held the nape of Loki's neck to force their eyes to meet. "When you fell from the Bridge, I thought you gone. Lost to me," Thor began, his voice still urgent and angry. Loki attempted to shift his body for a better angle to escape but found that he could not even move. Trapped as we was, he had no choice but to listen to Thor's surprisingly emotional words. "I mourned you for months and it changed me. Life was not the same without you. I was heartbroken. Even now, after everything you have done I bound my life to yours. How can you say I do not care?"

"You bound me to you without my consent," he reminded Thor. "You have forced me to be in your constant presence and taken away both my privacy and freedom. Is this your punishment for me after what I have done to your precious Earth? Is this the price you rip from me with no concern for what _I_ desire?"

"I have no ill intentions toward you," Thor argued, reminiscent of their fight the night before. "You have orchestrated many bad deeds and I do not know what you must do to regain your honour and trustworthiness in the eyes of the king and our people. But know that you do not need to prove yourself to me." Thor leaned forward slightly until their foreheads were pressed together. "You are my brother no matter what you say and I love you. My only motivation was to protect you until people accept you and let you live your own life again."

"I do not need your protection," Loki stated. "And I will not change to suit the will of you or anyone else. You seek to grant me immunity, as though you are better than me, until I change my ways to be accepted and _suitable_," he spat the word. "You are weaving yourself a fantasy of the future you want but will never receive. I do not fit in this world, Thor," Loki sighed. "I have never been accepted and I never will be."

It felt odd to be having this argument when they were pressed so close together. Thor's breath brushed over the skin of Loki's face, and he could feel Thor trembling slightly as he held Loki in place. Loki felt his own body shaking in return with pent-up energy, his magic roiling just under the surface. But in a way he liked it. He liked the way it felt to have Thor's body pressed and locked against his, feeling each breath and twitch. And although Thor was the one keeping him in place, it also forced Thor to listen to Loki's words in return.

He felt years of words well up inside him, desperate to burst from him. So many things he had hidden away and bitten his tongue on. Loki could barely force himself to stay focused, to stay on topic as he tore Thor's _intentions_ to shreds. "You tell me your intentions are pure and good, yet you stand here and tell me the reason my privacy and freedom is being taken away is because there's something _wrong_ with me. Something must be _changed_ before I can be accepted." Loki sneered, wondering if Thor could feel how quickly his heart was beating where Thor's arm was pressed against his chest. "You speak of love and brotherhood but you seek to change me instead of helping others accept me for who I am."

Thor pulled away slightly, looking hurt. "You twist my meaning so viciously."

"I will not change to suit anyone's will," Loki promised. "I will fight this bond until my dying breath."

Thor let out a yell and shoved Loki back against the wall harder. Loki groaned and cursed as the back of his head cracked against the wall. It took him a moment to blink the stars from his eyes and focus on Thor again. Loki had been wrong before in thinking that Thor was angry, because now he could see the true fury in those stormy blue eyes. "Are you so eager to meet death? Do you hate me _that_ much?"

"I cannot stand to live in your shadow any longer," Loki said honestly, meeting his eyes squarely. In truth, Loki had no intention of shredding the bond so hurriedly as to bring about both their deaths; he planned to wait and find the right moment to cut the ties before slipping away. But Thor did not need to know that. If he thought Loki was desperate enough to forcefully break the binding, perhaps Thor would grow nervous and demand Odin take back his magic and save Loki the trouble.

Thor sighed and shook his head. He leaned forward, hesitated, and then took two steps back. Loki found himself leaning forward slightly, following Thor's retreat and seeking... what? Thor's eyes sought the sun and Loki couldn't help glancing over to the window as well, wondering over Thor's sudden change in mood. One moment he had looked angry and desperate. Now he looked tired and defeated. Sad. "Any shadow you have experienced has been of your own creation and imagination," Thor murmured. "I have only ever wanted you to stand in the light with me. _Beside_ me."

"Is that so?" Loki asked, disbelieving. His voice was hushed, matching Thor's.

"Yes, of course," Thor nodded, looking back to Loki. His eyes had softened, looking at Loki differently. Loki didn't know what to make of the change. "I always tried to include you on our adventures to make sure you were never left behind, and I always tried to find things that would interest you. I looked for challenges that would suit your own strengths. I boasted of you to our friends and parents constantly," Thor's voice growing more and more quiet, like this was taking all his energy to say. "I know I made mistakes in my youth and did not always treat you right, but that doesn't mean I didn't try my hardest to keep you by my side."

Loki ran fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck, only realizing after the movement had been completed that it reminded him of how Thor soothed him. He dropped his hand back to his side. "But _why_?"

"I have already said, brother," Thor shook his head in defeat. "I will not say it again until you learn to listen without poison in your heart."

Loki watched Thor turn from him without another word and step out onto the balcony, closing the door behind him and leaving Loki alone with his thoughts. A part of him wanted to pursue Thor and demand an explanation but he held himself back. When he thought about it, he agreed that Thor might be right; Loki didn't feel ready to hear whatever it was Thor seemed desperate to say. Loki was so full of hurt and anger and distrust that he didn't know how _not_ to twist someone's words.

Instead of following Thor, Loki took time cleaning up the broken plates and sending an order for more food. The servant who brought the food did not look terribly happy to see Loki answering the door, but the man was in no position to comment. And Loki had made it clear that the food was for both Thor and himself, ensuring that nothing would end up poisoned. He set everything on the table and ate lightly, his anger and confusion churning his stomach.

For the afternoon Loki curled up in his favourite chair with a few books selected from his bookshelf specifically on magic. Even though he was fairly confident in his own abilities for breaking the binding without killing both of them, Loki figured it couldn't hurt to do a little extra research. Unfortunately there wasn't much that talked about life bindings except for a few legends, but he continued to read anyway. Just sitting with a book in his quiet room, absorbing the texts greedily made him feel calm and centered again.

He almost forgot entirely that he was bound to Thor, that he would not be able to leave the room and walk far before he hit an invisible boundary keeping him close to Thor. From time to time Loki even found himself lost in thought, wondering if being bound to Thor might not actually be as horrible as he imagined since the afternoon was so pleasant. That only lasted until the sun began to creep towards the horizon though, which was when Loki began to feel hunger pangs that were not his own.

Loki glanced over at the table of food and realized that it was mostly untouched; Thor had not eaten yet and the day was nearly over. He closed his current book on one finger to keep his page and strode across the room to open the balcony door. He leaned out just enough to look around and found Thor seated in one of the chairs but staring out at the sun blankly, unseeing. "Thor, you should grab some food. There's some on the table."

Thor gave no response and, deciding he had done his duty, Loki shrugged and returned inside. He grabbed another small plate for himself before resituating himself with his book. He tried to continue reading but as time slipped by and the sky grew darker, it became harder to concentrate on the words. If Loki felt this hungry through the bond, Thor must be absolutely starving. Annoyed now, Loki set his book down fully and piled a plate high with food. He stepped back out onto the balcony to see that Thor had not moved an inch, even though the air was growing chilly with the evening sky.

Feeling awkward and a little foolish, Loki set the plate down on the arm of Thor's chair. Still Thor did not respond, so Loki gave him a tiny shock of magic. Thor jumped in his seat with a grunt, his eyes furrowed as he looked around for the culprit. Their eyes met and both of them fell still; Loki felt as though he was frozen in place and could not move even if he wanted to. Then Thor looked down to the plate of food and Loki remembered to breathe, taking a step backwards. Thor looked back up to Loki after a moment but he was already halfway back inside, escaping before Thor could pin him with his gaze again.

The hunger pangs went away and Loki was finally able to relax with his books again. Time slipped by at an easy pace, Loki engrossed in his reading until the sound of the balcony door opening and closing caught his attention. He watched Thor out of the corner of his eye over the top of his book as his brother set his empty plate on the table before disappearing into the washroom. He heard the shower turn on and returned to his book, though he found his interest in reading waning as the hour grew late.

When Thor reappeared from the bathroom he was clean and topless, only sleeping pants hanging from his hips. "Good night, brother," Thor said quietly, watching Loki until he reached the bed and curled up sprawled under the sheets. "I hope you sleep better tonight," he added, and then the room was silent.

Loki fidgeted with the pages of his book, still a little embarrassed about having a nightmare in front of his older brother. But before Loki could decide whether or not he wanted to return the sentiment and wish Thor a good night, Thor had already calmed and begun to snore lightly. Loki rolled his eyes and dimmed the lights in the room, leaving only a lamp overhanging his chair glowing. He tried to continue reading but he found his interest completely gone now. It was still early in the evening but Loki thought that Thor had the right idea and disappeared into the bathroom to prepare for bed.

It had been a warm day, the air inside the room still heated, so Loki decided to forgo a shirt as well. He slipped back into his room on silent feet, comfortable pants on and ready for sleep. But he paused. Thor was snoring a little louder now, deeper in sleep. He was on his back, his massive arms sprawled above his head and his chest on display. Loki felt his eyes skimming over that tanned skin, knowing Thor would not wake up to catch him. In fact, as long as Loki avoided another nightmare, Thor would likely sleep through until dawn without stirring.

Loki had not expected an opportunity to show up quite so quickly and now it suddenly seemed too fast. He wanted to have his own space and freedom back, that was for certain. But Loki did not feel as desperate to leave. He didn't know what to think of Thor's words and behaviour today, but Loki felt something for the first time today that he had not felt for a long time. Contentment. _Hope_.

He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress closer to Thor, though the large man was almost in the centre of the bed after rolling over onto his back. Loki looked down at Thor, his brother's face lit up by the soft glow of the one lamp in the corner still powered by Loki's magic. Thor truly was a beautiful creature; it made sense that so many gravitated towards him and swooned when he turned his attention on them. Loki himself had always felt the desire for Thor's attention, jealous when another stole it from him. Now he felt the urge to map the skin Thor had exposed to him, to explore...

Loki shook his head and brushed a few stray hairs from Thor's face, feeling how Thor's skin burned like the sun naturally. Or perhaps he just felt warmer than normal when Loki touched him since Loki's own body temperature always stayed cooler than most. Thor let out a calm sigh at Loki's touch before calming again, breath remaining even. Such a heavy sleeper; Loki was envious. He wished he could fall asleep so easily with someone else in the room, trusting them. Though, when he thought about it, it had not taken him long to fall asleep the night before even with Thor in the same room and bed.

He continued to watch his brother sleep for a few moments longer. Loki wanted to be free of this bond, wanted to be able to roam and explore freely when he pleased. But where would he go? Loki had already grown comfortable in his old room again and had no real interest in leaving. Even today when he had been bound to Thor it had been an enjoyable day. Loki had nowhere else to go, nowhere else he _wanted_ to go. And it would take all of his strength to complete an inter-dimensional teleport without the Bifrost Bridge.

But if he stayed, Loki did not know what would happen. Thor was being nicer to him but no one else's behaviour had changed. Odin, who was supposed to be Loki's _father_, had given up on him and sentenced him to death. He treated Loki the way he always had – secondary, disposable. And Frigga, who pretended so poorly to care for Loki as a mother, had turned away without protest and left Odin to behead Loki. Their love towards Loki had always been an act to show the royal family as strong and united, but he knew otherwise.

Of course, no one else seemed happy to see Loki return either. If the reactions of the healer and the servants were anything to go by, the city would be calling for his banishment or execution as soon as they knew he was here. Sif and the Warriors Three, Thor's oldest and closest friends, would no doubt exclude Loki if they were feeling generous, and would hunt him down as soon as the bond was broken if they were feeling less kind. Thor said that the bond was only going to exist until people learned to accept Loki, but Loki didn't like imagining who he would have to become for Asgard's acceptance and love.

He had already changed everything he was to portray himself as an Asgardian prince. He had forsaken his Jotunn heritage, banished his natural skin and eyes, and hid many of his skills and talents for acceptance. Acceptance that he had never been granted. How much more could anyone possibly expect Loki to change? How much more of his identity did he have to cut from himself with shaking fingers before he would be _loved_?

No. Loki shook his head and refocused his attention on the sleeping Thor. Perhaps his brother meant well, and perhaps his intentions were true and caring. But Loki could not force himself to change the way he needed to in order to be accepted; he could not make Asgard love him alone. It would be better if he just cut the bond now, carefully while Thor was motionless, and slip away into the night. Before he grew any more attached to his old home or put any more faith into his brother.

With this thought, Loki cautiously moved fully onto the bed. Although he would not need the lamp light to see the magic, he kept it powered since the glow helped Loki locate Thor's limbs to ensure he didn't kneel on anything. With utmost care, Loki moved himself until he was kneeling above Thor, one knee denting the mattress beside each of Thor's hips. His hands spread on the mattress below Thor's sprawled arms, helping him stay balanced. Oh so slowly Loki lowered his weight down, knowing he would have to be stable, grounded and comfortable to do this; it would not be a fast process.

Thor gave a tiny groan when Loki rested his full weight on Thor's body, straddling his waist. Loki froze above Thor, terrified that he would wake him. He would never, ever be able to explain this awkward position if Thor woke up. But it was the only position that allowed Loki to look directly at Thor's chest while remaining steady and comfortable. Loki held his breath as Thor shifted below him, but then he sighed in relief when Thor finally settled again. It felt worryingly good having Thor's body below him, pinned in place, but Loki fought those thoughts down and forced himself to concentrate.

There was no turning back now, so Loki leaned forward. He was able to keep most of his balance just from sitting, though his left hand stayed against the mattress for added stability. His free hand hovered over Thor's chest, sensing his heart and the magic twined around it. Theoretically Loki could have removed the binding from his own heart first; it would save him from such a dangerous and uncomfortable position. But he did not know if the part of the bond that remained when the other half was severed would cause damage or death. If it did, Loki's magic could fight off Odin's weakened magic alone. But Thor had no such defence.

The magic was easy to trace with his mind's eye now that he was rested and in less pain. It helped that it was mostly dark in the room and that he was comfortable. Thor seemed content to sleep on which meant that Loki did not have to rush his work. He located every thread of magic and pinpointed each knot he would have to unravel before the bond was fully severed; there were five knots total. Then he hesitantly dropped his palm to Thor's skin, trying not to shiver at the warmth Thor emitted when they touched. He had the first knot pinned in his mind and he was now grounded. Loki closed his eyes and sent his own magic along Odin's threads to begin his work.

The first knot was easy to grasp and loosen, slowly edging the magic from its binding until it finally fell away into nonexistence. It took Loki a long time just to get the first knot done, to figure out the technique and care he would need to get this done safely. It also felt odd and distracting because Loki rose and fell minutely each time Thor breathed in and out, though Loki did his best to block the body below him from his mind.

Loki promptly turned his attention to the second knot, moving a little quicker this time to avoid wearing himself out before he finished. The magic of the second knot unravelled almost as easily as the first and Loki's confidence in his own abilities was growing with each passing minute. But then he turned to the third knot and hit a snag. Literally. Extra threads of magic seemed to be caught up in the final three knots, causing the magic to bend and fight him as he tried to untangle everything.

He was forced to give a particularly hard tug to one thread. The knot loosened but Loki immediately regretted his choice. He felt Thor shifting below him, the man groaning in confusion as he woke up slowly and found another body on top of him. Loki panicked as he traced Odin's remaining magic, watching the threads tighten dangerously around Thor's heart as his brother continued to shift around. He focused more of his magic on fighting Odin's magic, keeping the bond from killing Thor with one hand pressed against his chest. With his other hand Loki summoned a thin blade and pressed it against Thor's neck. It probably wasn't his smartest move, but it served its purpose as Thor stilled below him. "Don't move," Loki demanded, the majority of his concentration still on appeasing Odin's agitated magic until it calmed and settled safely again.

"Loki?" Thor mumbled before falling silent, still sounding half asleep.

Loki didn't respond at first, taking another few seconds to make absolutely sure that Odin's magic was not going to move or tighten anymore on its own. Once he was sure of that, Loki sighed heavily in relief. He still remained poised above Thor though, the knife still pressed dangerously against Thor's throat. He was in a terribly unfortunate position and no option seemed appealing.

Even though his intentions had not been to kill Thor, it was likely that Thor would hit Loki extremely hard as soon as he pulled the dagger away. And the dagger aside, Loki still had to explain why he was straddling Thor. Explaining that he had been in the process of severing the bond would not win him any favours, but making up some other excuse seemed even more horrifying and embarrassing. In the end Loki wasn't forced to make a decision, Thor instead making the first move.

With the way Thor looked at him, Loki knew that Thor somehow knew he had been working on the binding. Loki tensed when he watched and felt Thor's hand reach up, tracing Loki's arm still holding the blade with his fingers in the near-darkness. Thor's hand rested on the back of Loki's neck, cradling the skin and short hairs there soothingly for a moment. Then that grip tightened and Loki felt himself being yanked forward until most of his body was pressed against Thor's own. He had to quickly readjust the blade to keep it from digging deeper into Thor's throat while his other hand slid from Thor's chest to the mattress to hold himself up.

When he looked down to meet Thor's eyes, seeking some sort of explanation, he saw betrayal there. "Do it, you coward," Thor whispered, keeping Loki trapped against Thor's larger body with his strength. "You already tried and failed to kill me once when you dropped me from that ship on Earth. I grow weary of your hesitance. If you want me dead so badly then just hurry up and _do it_."

Loki's thoughts flashed back to their time on Earth, only days ago, when Thor had been locked in that glass cage and Loki had dropped him thirty thousand feet to the ground. He remembered trembling as his hand hesitated over the button to release the cage. He remembered Thor's eyes hold his own, imploring him to make a different decision. Loki had pressed the button and watched Thor fall from sight, but only after calculating with certainty that Thor would be able to escape the cage in time.

He had been in a poor mood though and had turned to leave. But Agent Coulson had stopped him, informed Loki that he would lose. Because he lacked _conviction_. Loki had sneered at the time, and had continued to sneer even when he _did_ lose the war for Earth. After all, what would a mere mortal know of Loki's _conviction_? It was only now in a few rushed seconds that he truly considered the man's words. And Loki realized that he _had_ lacked conviction. Because he didn't truly _want_ to win that war, and he most certainly didn't want Thor dead and gone forever. He wanted Thor with him.

The blade evaporated into smoke in an instant, Loki moving his shaking hand to rest on Thor's broad shoulder. "That is not what I want," Loki whispered back. He should have felt embarrassed and weak, but he had never felt surer of anything in his life than the truth that he didn't want to lose Thor. He watched Thor nervously, wondering what sort of reaction he would receive to this whole awkward moment.

The grip on the nape of his neck loosened but did not withdraw. To his surprise, Thor began tracing small circles on the back of Loki's neck with his thumb while his other four fingers continued holding Loki in place. Loki shivered pleasantly at the sensation and leaned into the touch, his eyes still fixed with Thor's own. Loki knew he was blushing because of his reaction but he couldn't seem to stop. Touches like these were so foreign to him, but they were pleasing and addicting.

Loki felt Thor's free hand come up to rest on Loki's hip, touch light and hesitant. Loki looked down to see Thor's hand holding him in place, three fingers on fabric and the other two on bare skin, before Thor turned Loki back to face him. A careful, leading pressure began on the back of Loki's neck and, feeling his heart begin to race, Loki allowed himself to be drawn down. A moment later his mind blanked as he felt warm, large lips press against his own. Loki's eyes slid closed and he pressed his body a little tighter against Thor's, moaning softly at the sensation. This was the first time Loki had been kissed this way and it felt _exquisite_.

Thor slid his fingers up into Loki's hair and tilted his head slightly, Loki following Thor's lead. With his head tilted, Thor was able to lock their lips together more firmly, deepening the kiss. It was a known fact that Thor was experienced in these sorts of matters and that should have upset Loki, knowing that Thor had been with others before him and also feeling embarrassed at his naivety by comparison. But he didn't mind at all, especially when it meant that Thor knew the perfect way to nudge Loki's mouth open and brush his tongue along the roof of Loki's mouth.

Their kisses were slow at first, Loki mimicking Thor and learning quickly. And then their pace grew faster, more heated as their lips danced and locked, their tongues licking and exploring. It was when Thor bucked below him that their lips parted, Loki arching back and gasping at feeling Thor's firm interest press against him. He looked down at Thor, still panting. He was trying to read Thor's thoughts on his face, though he was almost certain Thor was not hiding anything; you couldn't fake that sort of interest. But a thought still nagged Loki. "What about that woman?"

"She has a name," Thor chuckled, tracing soothing circles on Loki's skin again.

Loki glared down at Thor. "What about Jane?" he asked grudgingly.

"Are you jealous?" Thor teased, though he watched Loki with true concern.

Loki swallowed. "Always."

Thor's hand slid from Loki's hip to his lower back and Loki felt his body calming as he absorbed Thor's warmth. His eyes were on Thor though, who was looking up at him seriously. "She was there for me when I was cast out and alone," Thor spoke honestly, "And she taught me a lot about myself and who I can be. I'll always love her for that." Loki felt his heart clenching painfully but when he tried to pull away, Thor held him close. "But when I returned here," Thor continued softly, "I realized where I was meant to be. Who I wanted to stand beside and be with."

Loki was shaking his head, not willing to believe. But then Thor was pulling him down into a harsher, more needy kiss and from there Loki realized that Thor truly desired him. He let himself go then and allowed himself to enjoy everything he and Thor shared. When they were finished, Thor curled up around Loki and held him close. Loki couldn't go anywhere with Thor's arms wound securely around him, not that he wanted to move. He hummed in happiness, his disbelief weakening every moment longer Thor held him like Loki was the most precious person in the universe to him. As if reading his thoughts, Thor kissed Loki's neck right under his ear and whispered, "I love you."

Loki shivered at the honesty and warmth in that statement. He felt Thor's arms tighten around him slightly. He swallowed and thought about it for a moment, but realized that he didn't have to think for long. He already knew how he felt about Thor. "I love you too, brother."

Thor sighed contently, breath rustling Loki's hair. Then they both fell still and calm, safe and content in each other's embrace. "Sleep well, brother," Thor said, burying his face against Loki's neck before his breath began to even out. Loki was right behind him, his eyes sliding closed and his heartbeat slowing. He would sleep amazingly well in Thor's arms; no nightmare dared attack him with Thor there, with their partnership reunited.

#

Loki jolted awake with a start, his muscles tense and his eyes flashing open. He wasn't sure what had woken him up so suddenly, but when he rolled over and looked around he noticed that he was alone in bed. On his stomach, Loki skimmed his fingers across the rumpled sheets, taking note of the fact that they were cool. Swallowing thickly and trying not to jump to conclusions, Loki looked around the room. Mjolnir was in the corner against a wall where Thor had left it the other day, but that was the only sign that the God of Thunder had ever resided in this room. Thor was nowhere to be seen and the bathroom was unoccupied.

Where was Thor? Had Loki done something wrong? Loki clutched at the sheets, twisting them between his fingers as a million fears swarmed him. What if Thor had woken up and realized he had bedded Loki – despised by all – and regretted his actions and words? Loki began to feel nauseous and he hurriedly grabbed his pants, yanking them on with trembling hands. He couldn't believe he had been so foolish to hope, to trust. Would he never learn? His eyes blurred with tears and he was just considering heading to the washroom in case he threw up when he heard his room's door click open.

He glanced over quickly and noticed Thor slipping into the room. Thor glanced over at him after the door was closed, in pants and a shirt. "Where were you?" Loki snapped, still plagued by worries and insecurities. He was half tempted to simply demand that Thor leave before Loki accidentally lost even more control over his emotions. He was normally so skilled at staying neutral; Thor made him otherwise.

"Apologies," Thor said sincerely as he stepped closer to the bed, stripping out of his shirt and pants before crawling back into bed. Loki felt Thor's eyes trace his body and rest on the newly-situated pants. "What are these doing back on?" Thor growled lightly, taking hold of the fabric and yanking down.

"You're so crude!" Loki grumbled, trying to grab some blankets to cover himself with. Now that their moment of passion was over, Loki was feeling rather self conscious at having his whole body on display for Thor. He also worried that Thor might see him differently now that he could fully see Loki with the morning sun; there were no shadows to hide any imperfections. And Loki wasn't exactly feeling very trusting after waking up to an empty bed.

Thor didn't quite seem to realize Loki was being more than modest though, pulling the blankets away before slotting their bodies together. "And you," Thor began, stubble on his chin brushing against Loki's skin as Thor kissed up Loki's chest and neck, "are so beautiful." Thor leaned up to kiss him but Loki turned his head away, feeling himself blushing at his brother's words. Telling himself that Thor was lying, that it couldn't be true; he just didn't want to upset Loki... "Brother?" Thor asked, and he sounded so sad that Loki couldn't help but look back. "Have you tired of me so quickly?"

Loki blinked up at him in surprise. Thor thought _Loki_ had grown tired of _him_? After last night? After saving him? After being the only person to trust him and show him some kindness? Loki was so stunned by this, by the fact that Thor was worried about losing _him_, that Loki immediately pulled Thor down into a fast, heady kiss. When they pulled apart, Loki was breathless. "You are a fool to think that."

"It had appeared as though your interest for me had waned," Thor defended, his lips swollen and his cheeks flushed from the kiss. Thor still looked worried, his brow furrowed, but the kiss must have reassured him somewhat since he had returned to resting most of his weight on top of Loki.

"I panicked," Loki admitted, looking away again. "I woke up with an empty bed and cold sheets as my company. I thought you had awoken to feelings of regret and left."

"Oh Loki," Thor whispered, kissing every inch of skin he could reach. Loki tried to resist but found himself sighing contently at feeling Thor's lips kissing along his chest, shoulder, neck, jaw... Loki eventually gave in and turned back, wrapping his arms around Thor to pull him into a deeper kiss. Thor moaned happily into the kiss and held Loki close, not letting go even when their kiss ended. "I shouldn't have left. I don't want you to ever doubt the way I feel about you."

Loki smiled up at Thor shyly. "It'll just take time," he promised. Loki was distrustful and disbelieving now, but each minute that passed with him being bathed in Thor's affection made him more inclined to believe that this wasn't some dream or cruel trick. His curiosity was peaked though and he bit his lip nervously, not sure how pleased Thor would be about him prying. "Where _did_ you go?" Loki eventually worked up the courage to ask.

"I went to my room to fetch something," Thor explained.

Loki found it difficult to concentrate when Thor began running fingers through Loki's hair absentmindedly, staring down at him like it was perfectly natural to lie naked atop someone whom you were sharing a conversation with. He was going to ask what Thor had gone to collect, but then a different thought took precedent. "Your room? What about the binding?"

"Well," Thor hummed. "It seems that when you unravelled some of the bond, you extended the distance we can have between us." To Loki's surprise, Thor was staring down at him with pride, admiring him for his ability to fight Odin's own powerful magic. "I wasn't able to test the new distance we could reach since I was eager to return to you," Thor sent him a smirk, "But I can at least walk to my room without incident."

"Will you be returning to your room then?" Loki asked, forcing his face and voice to remain neutral.

"Is that what you desire?" Thor asked, still petting Loki's hair.

It meant a great deal to Loki that Thor was asking for what he wanted, rather than just making a decision or assuming. But at the same time, Loki did not want to betray himself or show himself as too eager and needy. "I am indifferent," he said, trying not to shiver when Thor scraped his fingers down the nape of Loki's neck.

Thor leaned in close, whispering against his ear. "Liar." Loki shuddered, his eyes falling half closed at that voice. "Tell me what you desire."

Loki licked his bottom lip, noticing that Thor tracked the small movement. "You." He was still growing accustomed to these new feelings of desire he had for Thor. When he thought back, he realized that he should have noticed sooner. The way he always sought Thor's gaze and presence, how he reacted to and craved Thor's fingers and hands on him, even when they were in the heat of battle. He was also still trying to get used to the fact that Loki could _have_ what he wanted now.

"Then I will happily stay, as I wished to do already," Thor kissed him briefly, not nearly long or heated enough for Loki in that moment. But when he leaned up to follow Thor's retreating lips he was lightly pushed back down to the mattress. "I have something for you," Thor smirked, teasing. "It is why I left for my own room, in fact."

"What is it?" Loki raised an eyebrow, lifting himself up and leaning back on his elbows as Thor moved off him to lean over the edge of the bed. Loki remained where he was, enjoying the extremely pleasant view Thor's body presented as he stretched and bent over the edge of the mattress. He lifted a foot and slowly skimmed his toes down the curve of Thor's thigh, pleased at the low growl he received for the touch. The sound caused his body to tingle with interest.

"For being new to this you are quite a tease," Thor accused when he turned back. Loki took note of a small box clutched in one of Thor's hands but didn't get the opportunity to ask before Thor bent his head. "Perhaps I should be turning my attention elsewhere before I give you your gift?" Thor kissed across Loki's neck, inching downward.

Loki was caught between desire and his burning curiosity, his eyes flicking back and forth between tracking the movement of Thor's lips and eyeing the small box that had been left on an empty patch of mattress. It didn't take long for Loki's eyes to drift back to Thor and remain fixated there, groaning as he watched Thor suck and bite marks onto his skin. But before he could say anything else, someone knocked loudly at his door. Both of them froze, well aware of how their position would look to anyone who stepped through that door. "Who is it?" Thor yelled after a moment. Loki smacked him for bellowing in his ear.

"Thor?" A familiar voice yelled back and Loki closed his eyes, dread quelling his arousal in a flash. "It's us! Open up these blasted doors!"

Thor looked to Loki, who was focused on holding the doors closed with magic against the strength and will of Sif and the Warriors Three. Thor looked concerned and guilty, noticing Loki's reaction and his wilting desire. Loki could also see impatience in those eyes as they both flicked a quick glance to the as-yet untouched mystery gift box. But Loki knew Thor would be excited to spend time with his friends again, and Loki tried to ignore his nerves; seeing them now or later would not change their reaction to them. "It's alright," Loki forced himself to say, schooling his face into a neutral mask.

"Don't do that to me, brother," Thor whispered as he moved closer, holding Loki's nape. "Do not hide yourself away behind a mask."

"Thor!" Sif yelled this time. "Are you alright? We're going to break the door down!"

Loki snorted in weak amusement. He'd love to see them try to best his magic. "A moment!" Thor shouted back again, though he didn't move from the bed. "Loki..." Thor spoke in hushed tones again, looking desperate.

"Go to your friends," Loki shrugged Thor's hand off. He was trying his best to not sound too bitter.

"They are your friends also," Thor argued, returning his hand to Loki's neck.

This time Loki didn't shrug him off. "We will see," was all he said. Then they were forced to part and dress hurriedly, Loki giving a quick sweep of magic to change the bed sheets and dispel the lingering scent of sex and arousal. He noticed Thor picking up the small box and stuffing it back into the pocket of his pants, but they were out of time for private conversation.

He dropped his magic just in time for Sif to come barrelling into the room, Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun right behind her. They all had their weapons drawn, making it very easy to assume what they had been thinking; that Loki had somehow trapped or imprisoned Thor. The four Asgardian warriors looked rather confused when they saw that Thor not only required no assistance, but in fact looked quite calm and content in his sleeping attire. Loki had refused to stand before anyone but Thor in his pyjamas and had instead conjured up a more suitable tunic, but Thor had not taken the time to do more than pull his earlier clothes back on.

"Friends!" Thor exclaimed happily, grinning as he rushed forward to pull the others into hugs. Loki gave a half-hearted smile when they glanced over at him but held back, uninterested in seeking a hug that would be rejected. "Are you all well?"

"Wishing you had brought us in for the fight," Fandral grumbled good-naturedly. "We've been bored stiff around here with nothing to do but wonder over your fight for Earth. Then suddenly we hear that you have already been back in Asgard for two days without coming to share with us your story of triumph!"

Loki stood tall, his hands held tightly behind his back. He had started and lost a war and he could expect nothing less than some embarrassment for his failing. But it was still difficult to hear people he formerly considered friends – though he had never been as close with them as Thor had – boasting of Thor's triumph when it also mocked Loki's failure. Loki was immensely grateful when Thor brushed Fandral's comment aside, sidestepping the opportunity to boast. "I apologize for not visiting you all sooner. I was resting."

"And you chose here to rest your head?" Sif asked in disbelief, her eyes flicking over to Loki with clear suspicion. Hogun and Volstagg also glanced over to Loki before looking back to Thor, though they did not comment.

"Take care over your words," Thor warned, voice low. "I slept alongside my brother. I can think of no place safer." Loki was slightly surprised that Thor did not explain Odin's binding to the warriors, which would have given him a simple excuse for staying in the same room as Loki. Though Thor would have been forced to explain why the binding had been placed anyway, which he might be avoiding. A tiny part in Loki's mind secretly hoped that Thor would have stayed with Loki even without the binding based on the feelings Thor professed earlier; perhaps Thor was trying to make a point about his choice to both the warriors _and_ Loki.

"A brother who orchestrated your banishment," Sif reminded stiffly.

"A brother who is standing right here," Loki interjected coldly. He had always admired Sif's skills and determination to prove her ability despite others' misgivings about a female warrior. But she had never known when to hold her tongue, and it had always irked him. She seemed entirely unversed in the ways of manners.

"The last place you deserve to stand," Sif snapped, turning from Thor to pin Loki with her glare. Her words hurt him, but he was so used to hiding it that his lips did not twitch. "If things went your way then Thor would still be banished, or even dead."

Loki opened his mouth to retort but hesitated. He couldn't deny her accusations. Loki had never wanted Thor dead, but banished and alone in a foreign world was not much better. Thor looked like he was itching to say something, but Thor was watching him like he knew Loki needed to be allowed to speak first. He was finally granting Loki his own voice. And as Loki thought back to what he had done to his brother, he could honestly say, "A mistake I deeply regret." Because in the end, Loki didn't want or care about Odin's love. Odin had never cared for Loki. Thor on the other hand... Loki held his brother's gaze and felt a private moment between them. Thor had cared, and Loki wanted to do right by him.

Sif scoffed at his words, and that was when Thor stepped between them. Thor towered over Sif but his eyes were on all four warriors. "I have never known you all to be so closed to understanding and forgiveness. We have all made mistakes but we atone for them and continue on." Thor turned slightly to catch Loki's eye. "We can change if we wish it, but we will be loved no matter what path we take." Loki looked down to the floor, finding that he didn't have the courage to hold Thor's gaze. Thor was promising him so much.

"He could never change," Sif argued, crossing her arms.

Thor, finally giving up on capturing Loki's eyes, turned back to Sif. "Perhaps he does not need to change," Thor said softly, hesitant in his own words. Loki found himself enraptured, each of Thor's words touching him like a spark of fire. "After all, he is the same brother I grew up with, and the same friend you travelled and fought beside. It is only now with our visions skewed by hurt that we see him differently. But perhaps it is we who must work to see him as he once was, and try to understand what pushed him to make the choices he did."

"Has he cast some spell over your mind?" Fandral finally spoke up again, glancing back and forth between Thor and Loki. It was clear that he could see that something had changed between them, that there was something new binding them. But Loki doubted he would be able to pinpoint that change. "You speak his words."

Thor chuckled then. Loki could read his brother as he slowly relaxed. "I would not blame this upon magic; my words are my own. I see differently now, but that is due to experience. The events on the Bridge and Earth opened my eyes to a great many things." Thor looked back at him meaningfully and Loki found that he could not move.

Everyone else turned to him then too. Sif, Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun all staring at Loki like he was a puzzle they might one day be able to solve, but were currently missing too many pieces to have any hope. This feeling was discomforting to Loki, especially since he had no interest in sharing his most private thoughts with these people who looked upon him as though he was not safe to be around. Making his decision quickly, Loki sidestepped the five Asgardians and headed for the door. "I will leave you all alone to rejoice."

"Where are you going?" Fandral asked, distrust still in his voice.

"Tell me how that is any business of yours," Loki shot back, standing in his doorframe. He knew he should probably be the one herding the others out of _his_ room but he couldn't be bothered, and he trusted Thor to make sure none of his things were ruined.

When he glanced uncertainly at Thor, Loki swallowed. Thor looked disappointed, probably at Loki leaving so quickly. But Thor did not seem disgruntled beyond that, did not look concerned or worried about letting Loki out of his sight. He was not asking Loki where he was going and seemed uninterested in doing so. Thor really _did_ trust him. Fandral was trying to come up with some reason to keep Loki in the room but Thor was distracting him by asking about what had happened in Asgard while he was away. Gratefully, Loki slipped out into the halls.

Curious to test the boundaries of the half-unravelled binding, Loki headed towards the palace exit. He used his magic in order to cloak himself from anyone's view, uninterested in facing more hate before he had even gotten a chance to eat. He wasn't expecting to get very far, assuming he might make it part way through the palace at best. But he actually made it out to the daily market set up in a courtyard overshadowed by the palace before he felt the threads around his heart pulling him back. Hungry, Loki nicked a handful of food from a vendor and stepped off to the side to enjoy his food before heading back inside. The people of Asgard may hate him, but Loki loved the city itself and enjoyed spending time outside the palace whenever possible.

Once he was done his food and contently fully, he headed back inside. He didn't know if Thor had felt the binding reach its limit or whether his brother panicked, regretting his decision to let Loki go. But Loki had no interest in disappearing or betraying Thor's trust today, so he headed for the palace library. There he picked up a few more books of interest and found a quiet corner he could settle into. The library was never very busy and people were much more willing to give someone space in here, so Loki felt safe enough to drop his magical cloak.

Loki had been reading for about an hour when his heart suddenly felt heavy. He placed a hand over his chest in confusion, feeling an intense feeling of _longing_ tug at his heart and weigh him down. Loki looked back down to the book he had been reading, knowing that he had been too focused on learning the details of a new spell to suddenly start thinking about Thor. But now he was, and he felt an insistent urge and desire to go see Thor.

Loki assumed that the sense of longing must be coming from Thor, though he didn't know what had triggered the feeling. Hesitantly Loki centred his thoughts on the bond and focused hard on remembering how he had felt in Thor's arms the night before, sending back a wave of reassurance. Surprise hit Loki in return, though it quickly shifted to contentment before fading away; Thor had probably gotten distracted.

Intrigued by this, Loki set aside his old books and went in search of new ones about magical bindings. He doubted Odin had meant for this to happen, but it appeared as though the bond allowed for both of them to experience the intense feelings and emotions of the other. It didn't seem to work for less extreme sensations, since Thor had only felt Loki's pain and they had felt each other's feelings when solely focused on it. But Loki wondered if they could control this, or if it would grow stronger as the bond settled.

After another hour of research, the sense of longing began to tug at his heart again. Less annoyed than he was expecting to feel, Loki gave up on reading. He put his unused books away and tucked two books of particular interest under one arm. Then he brought up his cloak again and headed back to his room. He could hear the people in his room from halfway down the hall as he approached, jovial and happy. Loki hesitated for a moment, not wanting to ruin the mood, but decided it was his room and stepped inside anyway.

Volstagg was speaking about the food that had no doubt just arrived, platters of food resting on almost every clear surface of Loki's room. All of them were just in the process of holding a glass of wine, about to make a toast before drinking, but Thor cut them short. "Wait a moment, friends," he requested at seeing Loki, hurrying to fill another goblet with wine and hand it to him with a kind smile.

Loki accepted it with his free arm as Volstagg began making a speech about reunited friends and other such touchy nonsense. He found himself smiling to himself as he felt Thor's fingers brush against his own while handing him the glass, and when Thor stood close by his side after handing over the glass. The sense of longing still lingered and Loki felt the desire to pull Thor away and finish what they had started this morning. But as Volstagg continued on and on, an odd scent caught Loki's nose. He looked around in confusion, wondering where it had come from. Thor glanced at him out of the corner of his eye questioningly but Loki was too focused on trying to locate the smell.

The smell was faint and was very sweet, almost too sweet to the point of being sickening. It was not coming from Thor, or from himself, and no one else was close enough. As Loki looked around he sloshed his wine a bit and that was when the scent grew stronger, the wine disturbed. Loki looked down and sniffed at his glass, recoiling immediately. He knew that smell. "Don't!" he shouted to the room, Volstagg finished his speech and everyone in the process of bringing their glass to their lips.

Thor hesitated at Loki's yell but no one else seemed to pay him any mind. "We drink what we like," Volstagg grumbled, touching the goblet to his lips. With no time and no other option, Loki knocked away everyone's goblets with a burst of magic. Glass shattered on the ground and wine spilt everywhere, staining a rug that Loki would now have to throw out. He didn't mind though, because after a quick look around he saw that no one had drank anything or had the wine touch their skin. "That was good wine!" Volstagg bellowed, pinning Loki with a glare.

"Apologies," Loki bit out sarcastically. "Next time I'll let you drink the poison."

As if on cue, a little sizzling sound filled the room as the poison began to eat its way into the carpet. "Poison?" Fandral muttered in confusion, everyone stepping away and watching in horror as the carpet began to disintegrate. "Who would want to poison us?"

"Not you," Loki grumbled, already beginning the process of containing the spill with magic and banishing it away before the poison could seep into the floor below the carpet. "Me."

"Stop being paranoid," Sif retorted, though she didn't sound very confident.

"Paranoid, am I?" Loki watched her after finishing up with the spill. The remainder of the poisoned wine would be safe in the pouring jug until Loki got around to removing it. "I'm sure whoever sent this up assumed I would be here since it's my room," Loki began to explain, standing stock still and focusing solely on keeping himself from beginning to shake. "And they used one of the _only_ herbs I'm actually susceptible to. They likely would have used something much easier to acquire if I was not the target."

Everyone was looking at him with two clear thoughts visible on their faces. First, they seemed surprisingly shocked that someone would actually go so far as to attempt to poison him. In a way this was reassuring, knowing that no matter how much Sif and the Warriors Three hated him, poisoning him still seemed horrifying and extreme to them. Second, they seemed utterly stunned as they slowly realized that he had saved them all from dying of his own volition. "You saved us," Hogun finally spoke up, voicing everyone's thoughts.

Loki, not interested in explaining himself, stepped around them to set his books down and pick up the remaining jug of wine. He was already in the process of developing a list of people he knew would know of his weakness to this herb, trying to distract himself from more troubling thoughts. He couldn't believe he had saved everyone without a second thought, even after how they had treated him earlier. After all, it had not been necessary for Loki to save them all; he could have simply stilled Thor's hand with his own. Loki told himself that he had done this on purpose to put Sif, Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun in his debt. But deep down he knew that it was because he didn't want old friends to suffer for him, and couldn't bear the thought of Thor hating him for saving him but not his friends.

He tensed as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, confused when he registered the weight as lighter than Thor's. Loki turned on his heel to find Hogun touching his shoulder, eyes serious. "Thank you," he said. All Loki could do was nod in return.

"You saved us even after our cruelty," Sif spoke to him though she did not approach.

"We owe you our lives," Volstagg stated, Fandral nodding beside him.

"You owe me nothing," Loki argued, stepping away from Hogun's touch.

"Still," Fandral spoke up, "We will find who did this and bring them to justice. We will help protect you from another cowardly attempt like this."

Loki didn't really know what to say, unaccustomed to people _wanting_ to defend and protect him. Luckily Thor was there and for once Loki didn't mind his brother speaking on his behalf. "Thank you, friends," he said, voice low and still noticeably angered by the events that had just passed. "But for now I would like some time alone with my brother." Thor's hand came to rest on Loki's shoulder where Hogun's hand had rested before, but only at Thor's touch did Loki finally begin to calm.

"Of course," Volstagg nodded in understanding.

"Do not hesitate to call on us," Hogun added as they all headed out into the hallway and pulled the door closed behind them. Still feeling unsafe and exposed, Loki locked all the doors and windows immediately with magic.

They both stood there in silence for a few seconds, filled with anger and fear and relief. That had been too close and they had almost both been dead, as well as their friends, because of someone's hate. Loki remained standing as he felt Thor move to stand in front of him, both of his large arms encircling Loki for a tight, desperate hug. It was what finally broke Loki's mask of neutrality. As he raised his own arms to hug Thor back, he dug his fingers in to clutch at Thor's shirt while pressing his face against Thor's neck. He breathed in his brother's natural scent and held on tight.

Thor was doing the same; hugging Loki so tightly that it almost hurt. But it felt wonderful to be held so close, cherished so highly, and Loki felt no desire to complain. However, he did make a short noise of complaint when he felt Thor drawing away, unwinding his arms from Loki's body. Loki was about to ask where Thor thought he was going, but he quickly fell silent as he watched Thor drop to one knee in front of him. "What are you doing?" Loki asked, feeling a dizzying mix of excitement and nerves.

Thor didn't respond right away, instead reaching into the pocket of his pants and pulling out the small mystery box. "I didn't want to do this in front of our friends because I wanted this moment to be private," Thor took a deep breath. "But now I refuse to take for granted another second with you." Loki's heart was racing at Thor's words, so touching but so serious. Looking at that small polished box, Loki began to have a good idea of what might be inside it. He didn't fully believe it until Thor pulled back the lid though. "I want you to wear it," Thor said, sounding shy for the first time in his life.

Inside the small box was an amulet on a thin but strong chain of metal. The amulet was intricately carved with Thor's personal crest, with a blue jewel to match his eyes in the centre. It was excellent, precise craftsmanship and would have cost a fortune to have made. Loki was familiar with the amulet though, because he remembered Odin bestowing it to Thor long ago before the thought of marriage would ever hold any interest for either of them. It was an amulet to symbolize Thor, which he was meant to give to his betrothed, his Promised.

Loki had received one as well, carved into his own crest with a glimmering green gem in the centre. Loki had put it away in a drawer and forgotten about it long centuries ago, certain that he would never find someone he would care about that would care for him in return. He skimmed a careful finger along the designs of the amulet, treating it as though it would break even though it was made strong to withstand long years and battle alike.

He had to remind himself that Thor was not giving him a simple charm that could be shrugged away. Thor was asking him to be his sole partner and mate in every sense of the word. Loki would stand beside Thor when he took the throne of Asgard, helping him rule and maintain peace across the Nine Realms – a task Loki doubted anyone else would hand to him. He would also ride alongside Thor into battle, their deadly skills paired rather than set against each other. And Thor would live with him and bed him at night.

Loki was scared at the thought of so much commitment, but not as scared as he would have expected to be. It all seemed like so much to ask and to promise. A lifetime with Thor as his partner at his side? There were still many days Loki would rather punch Thor than speak with him, and he doubted that would change. But at the same time, Loki could think of no one he would rather be bound to, no one he cared about or trusted more.

But... "Odin would never approve," he whispered, pulling his fingers away from the amulet.

"I care not what Odin thinks, nor anyone else," Thor stated strongly. "Except you. If you do not want me, I will not force you." Loki believed him, though based on the sadness in Thor's eyes, he doubted Thor would be happy about revoking his pledge.

"This is all so fast," Loki stalled. He wanted to say yes. He really did.

"I know," Thor shifted, no doubt beginning to get uncomfortable as he stayed bent at one knee, box held aloft. But he didn't move. "But I've been thinking about this since you fell from the Bridge, about what I would do differently if I could just have you back with me. And now I have that chance," Thor smiled up at him, grabbing one of Loki's hand with his free hand and kissing his skin. "I will respect your space and your wishes. I just wish to claim you as mine so all of Asgard knows."

"All of Asgard?" Loki couldn't help but sound a little sarcastic, remembering the hate Asgard had already shown him upon his return. "Taking me as your mate will not win you any favours," he informed his brother. "And you'll have to explain my heritage."

"I am not ashamed of you, brother," Thor continued lavishing attention to Loki's hand, kissing the pads of his fingers. "Nor of the love I have for you."

Loki returned his non-captured hand back to the amulet, tracing the edges with reverence. This symbol around his neck would state so much. It would give him the power not only of an Asgardian prince, but also as the mate of Asgard's future king. It would grant him protection, if not respect; though Loki would rather earn respect than force it anyway. It would also serve as a constant reminded of the fact that Loki belonged somewhere, _with_ someone, and that he was loved. That thought made him realize that he didn't need all of Asgard to love him; he just needed Thor.

"Will you wear mine in return and bind yourself to me?" Loki asked, thinking to the small box shoved to the back of one of his drawers and no doubt covered in dust by now. Wearing Thor's amulet around his neck would let the Nine Realms know that he belonged to Thor. But Loki wanted people to look at Thor and see Loki's symbol hanging around his neck in return. A balanced, loving promise.

"I would be honoured," Thor kissed his palm and Loki found it impossible to keep from smiling.

He brushed his fingers through the stubble on the underside of Thor's chin with their current position, nudging upward slightly. "Get off your knees; you look ridiculous," Loki teased, though he thought Thor might realize he was trying to hide his nerves.

Thor seemed to be in a teasing mood as well though. "I thought you liked me like this," he said right before pressing a kiss to the inside of Loki's knee. It shouldn't have been intimate in any way, but Loki could feel the weight and warmth of Thor's lips through the fabric of his pants and that electrified his nerves and shot upward to settle in his gut.

"I do," Loki admitted. "But I'm sure your knees are suffering now that the carpet is gone." Thor chuckled and kissed Loki's other knee before slipping the box back into his pocket. "What-?" was all Loki managed to ask before Thor was suddenly standing and pulling Loki into a hug. Thor was so eager that he managed to lift Loki entirely off the floor as he hugged him, which was no easy feat with his height and the weight of his hidden muscles. "Thor!" Loki shouted in surprise, but he had nothing to worry about; Thor had a stable hold on him.

Thor's arms were wrapped around the top of Loki's thighs, hooked right under his ass. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor's broad shoulders in return to keep himself as close to Thor as possible. He didn't even need to wrap his legs around Thor's waist for stability, though he did it anyway just to press closer and tease Thor with a hinting buck of hips. "I love you," Thor growled as he pulled Loki tighter against him. "You know that?"

Loki smiled. "I'm starting to figure it out," he admitted with a breathless laugh right before leaning down to catch Thor's lips with his own. He loved how eager Thor was for him, moaning into his mouth like he was as new to this as Loki was. It made him feel special and loved and Loki slid his fingers into Thor's long hair to hold on and claim Thor's mouth as his own.

He leaned up for one more kiss before they both settled again, Thor moving half off Loki so that he could breathe as they both dozed on the bed. Loki knew Thor was being honest and wasn't simply brushing him off. It would still be a while yet before Thor was granted the throne, and even longer still before either of them would want or be ready for children. But Loki liked knowing that Thor desired him in every way, and that someday when they _did_ want children and an heir, Thor would not take someone else to bed because Loki was incapable. He wanted to be everything to Thor, as Thor was to him.

There were still many challenges ahead of them and it would take a great many centuries to deal with some of them. Loki might have regained some respect in the eyes of their friends, and if he was lucky they might be willing to take a step back and see him differently. With time. Odin was a different matter though, and Loki dreaded how the king would react when he and Frigga learned that Thor and Loki had exchanged amulets. He feared Odin's wrath for Thor as well as himself, worried Odin might banish Thor from the throne again for choosing an _unsuitable_ mate. Although Loki found that possibility unlikely, knowing how regretful Odin had been over banishing Thor the first time.

On top of that, they would have to deal with the Asgardian citizens, who were clearly unhappy about Loki's return. He had at least one person trying to poison him, and who knew how many others had similar intentions. It would take time to find these threats, and even then it would be difficult to deal out punishment if half the city agreed with the would-be assassins. Loki didn't know how he could possibly win back the favour of his city, except with fair rule and time.

It all seemed so overwhelmingly hopeless. At least it felt that way until Thor shifted, holding Loki tighter in his arms right before Thor began to drift off and his breath evened out. Loki looked to Thor, who was now asleep with his arms wrapped around Loki, cradling him close. Everything seemed much more possible with Thor choosing to stay close and holding Loki like a cherished treasure. Loki knew that they would continue to stand side by side as they always had. They would face any challenge, defeat any foe. They would play off each other's strengths and be a fantastic pair, both of them ruling Asgard and the Nine Realms to the best of their ability.

Loki may never win the acceptance and favour of all, not after what he had done. He understood that. But with Thor asleep beside him, his brother's warm embrace lulling Loki's own mind and body, Loki knew it would be alright. Thor trusted him and loved him, had pledged himself to Loki and claimed him as his own in return. They were bonded now by something much stronger, much more significant and lasting than Odin's magic. They could remove Odin's binding or keep it to dissuade assassins, but Odin's bond around their hearts would never be more than instrumental in use. However, the bond Thor and Loki had created, binding their hearts together out of choice and love, would remain until the end of days. It made Loki feel like he finally _belonged_.

And with that thought, a small smile curling his lips, Loki leaned against Thor's resting form and allowed his eyes to drift closed.

* * *

A/N: I literally wrote this over the span of one week. I feel extremely relieved at having this done, but also exhausted. Now to write a ton of Arthur/Eames stories haha. I love you all. **Go add me on Tumblr!**


End file.
